Being a ‘high-achiever’ isn’t fun for everyone. There are those of us who are driven to achieve more and more, yet are burdened with never feeling like we’re enough. Some of us achieve great things, and feel like frauds and fakes. Some of us feel like if we achieve great things, we’ll belong, be loved, important, respected… we’ll matter.
On the other hand, some people achieve great things out of joy for what they do because it’s just fun, or because what they do gives them a sense of purpose or meaning. Some high-achievers achieve great things because they simply love what they do.
Michael Jordan admitted that he felt like he had to prove to his tough father that he was as good as (or better than!) his brother – that he deserved his father’s approval and love just as much as his brother did. He also happened to LOVE his sport and revel in becoming as great basketballer as he could be. He had both ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ drivers going on early on in his career, if you can refer to them like that.
A great musician I worked with achieved ever greater feats of performance, with more and more difficult works. On one hand he loved making music. On the other, he was driven by the need (which was subconscious at the time) to prove to himself and the world that he was ‘enough’.
A successful business-owner with a star-studded corporate career couldn’t shake that critical voice in her head insisting that she wasn’t capable, that she was a fake and fraud, irrelevant of her obvious experience, talent, skills and past undeniable successes.
I come across it in my clients over and over and over again – high achievers who are burdened, driven by the as yet unfulfilled need to feel like they are enough.
Are you a ‘high achiever’?
Are you having fun?
Here’s a pointy question: do you feel, deep down, like you’re enough, irrelevant of your achievements? Irrelevant of what you choose to do? Irrelevant of what others think of you?
Would you feel like you’re enough without the kudos or accolades which come with your achievements – whether they’re financial, athletic, artistic, in business…?
If not, it’s time. It’s time to know ‘I am enough’. It’s time to know ‘I matter’. It’s time to know that you have nothing to prove to yourself or anyone else. It’s time to achieve simply as a by-product of fun and inspiration and to really, really like yourself exactly as you are, right here, right now.
If you need help with this, reach out. Help’s right here, and you’re so worth it.
You can book an obligation-free, complimentary 20 minute strategy session with Sally here.